Monday, June 4, 2012

CALTIKI The Immortal Monster / Climax Pictures - 1959

Wow, here's a crazy little flick that Eegah!! and I saw back in 1960 at our favorite fun place, the Sierra Theater. We loved it because it had a freakin' blob, the weirdest of all movie monsters! The original director, Riccardo Freda, later claimed that he abandoned the project so that Mario Bava would have a chance to direct because he knew Mario could be a good director and he wanted him to have the chance.

Eegah!! has given us a very cool soundclip from this classic creepfest, so, you can push the big red 'GO' button there next to the purple ejection seat, NOW, Ralphie the Tarantula! Here's some of... CALTIKI The Immortal Monster!

This lucky guy actually got to meet Caltiki! Now, here's a real story of how monster movies could influence kids in 1960... One night when Eegah!! and I were visiting my cousin in the country, we went out to the Mad Trailer and mixed up a batch of 'Caltiki' to put on door knobs, car door handles and to scare kids with! Then, here's a great story from our pal, TedMo... One night, him and a friend stuffed a shirt and pants to look like a person and dropped it out of an overhanging tree onto a car that was whizzing down the street. The pissed-off guy threatened to kill them!!

Seriously, this native dance scene at the beginning has got to be one of the hottest pre-nude routines in film history!.. Her dress is ripped because a bunch of the guys were pulling at it, ejole!!

When the greedy explorers go treasure hunting in this pool in a sacred cave, it brings the terrifying creature out of it's slumber!

The look on the doctor's face really captures the sheer horror as the thing grabs and starts absorbing Max's arm! Is that a dent in the doc's forehead?

The flick's all about Max, it just wouldn't be the same without him! The weird looking Gérard Herter plays the demented pervert, this was his second of 34 acting credits.

Max escapes from the hospital after killing his nurse, then, tries to elude authorities as he makes his way across the countryside. He has basically turned into an animal, the photo of him drinking water is always a disturbing sight!

The lab is nearly destroyed when one of the things starts growing and breaks out of it's tank!

A cosmic connection is finally made linking the comet present in the night sky to the ancient growing mass of doom.

Max somehow makes it to the doc's house, and, he's in love with the the doc's wife so he harasses her in her nightie! The second photo shows Max shooting his loyal girlfriend, Linda, point blank, in cold blood!! Max is a disgusting excuse for a person, you can hear the rat shoot her in the soundclip, and, after she brought him a sandwich!!

In the meantime, the sample of the monster the doctor brought to his home to study has broken out of the lab and is dividing and growing like crazy!

A very satisfying moment is when Max gets what's coming to him yet again!

The Army finally shows up with their tanks and flame throwers to put an end to the terror what once was... CALTIKI, The Immortal Monster!!

A typical Italian horror card, emphasis on sex!.. Is that a dent in the doc's forehead?

Saturday, June 2, 2012

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE vs. MURDERERS' ROW

For this Super Saturday Spy Special I'm going to compare two movies that were both the second release in a series, "From Russia With Love" made in 1963, and "Murderer's Row" made in 1966! There will be 10 different reference points, and whoever gets the most points is the winner! It's gonna be that simple! I'm sure to catch some flack no matter which way it goes, so let's just get ready to rumble!!

"From Russia With Love" is soft and sensual, and not quite what you'd expect!

"Murderers' Row" is great Pop Art, but it is kind of brash and cartoony! First point goes to "From Russia With Love!"

02 Handsome Leading Man:

Unfortunately, nobody is better than Sean Connery as the character James Bond, he's smooth, he's suave, and he's got a license to kill!

Dean Martin as Matt Helm leads in the Swagger Department, but since "Murderers' Row" is obviously a comedy, Matt Helm is never given a chance to be taken seriously! James Bond wins this point!

03 First Distraction Of Sorts:

This provocative pose doesn't work on James Bond!

Circle wins the square, point for Matt Helm!

04 The Bad Guy:

Robert (A TOWN CALLED HELL) Shaw as Agent for SPECTRE Red Grant is one mean and ruthless character no doubt, but as tough as he is, he still seems vulnerable!

Tom Reese is a guy named freakin' Ironhead! Tom's had a long and outstanding career. He was in the "Twilight Zone" episode titled "The Intruder," and was the Sheriff in "Vanishing Point." At the end of the film, Ironhead gets picked up by a huge magnet! That's got to be a stainless steel plate in his head, otherwise it would get all rusty and infected, and any good metallurgist will tell you that stainless isn't magnetic, so that concept didn't work! Still, Ironhead is a bigger weirdo than Red Grant, another point for "Murderers' Row!"

05 Hottest Secretary:

Boy, this is getting really difficult! Lois Maxwell played the flirty Miss Moneypenny in 14 James Bond movies!

Beverly (HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI, TORTURE GARDEN) Adams played Lovey Kravezit in the first three Matt Helm Flicks! I've always had a thing for Miss Moneypenny, so this point goes to James Bond, although I do like Lovey's see through outfit with the strategically placed stripes!!

06 Cool Gadgetry:

Bond's got a briefcase that contains a folding rifle, ammunition, gold coins, and a throwing knife, and if you open it the wrong way, tear gas shoots in your face!

Matt Helm's issued a gun that after you pull the trigger, it takes 9 seconds to actually shoot, so when it gets into the hands of some bad guy, he usually ends up shooting himself, after fumbling around with it when it doesn't go off the first time! The gun wins this round!

07 Main Squeeze In A Nightie:

Miss Rome 1960, the classy Daniela Bianchi is Tatiana Romanova, the Russian Pawn! They had to dub Daniela's voice because her ultra strong Italian accent made her English almost indecipherable!

The always alluring Ann-Margret is the dancing machine Suzie! Her babydoll nightie and fuzzy slippers get the nod on this one!!

08 Most Colourful Costume:

Magnificent Martine (QUEEN OF EVIL, SISTER HYDE) Beswick as Zora on the left, and the amazing Aliza (AGENT FOR H.A.R.M., BEAST OF MOROCCO) Gur as Vida get ready for a good olde fashioned gypsy catfight!! It just so happens I have a cat named Zora!!

Ann-Margret's outfit in this scene is almost unbelievable, and screams out WTF!?? Pop Culture or not, Ann's outfit is just too much! I give this point to Martine and Aliza!!

09 Evil Overachiever:

Okay, here's the choices, poison shoed Lotte (SEMI-TOUGH) Lenya as psycho-bitch #3 Rosa Klebb....

....or Karl (13 RUE MADELEINE, PHANTOM OF THE RUE MORGUE, THE CAT O' NINE TAILS) Malden as the man who would rule the world, Julian Wall! My vote goes to Karl Malden! At least he didn't have to pretend to be a maid!

10 Extra Gratuitous Scantily Clad Women:

Oh, What the Hell, both of these stills are from "Murderer's Row!" So I guess that settles it, it was a close fight, but in the end, it was "Murderers' Row" by TKO in the last round!!

Just for the record, the music in both movies is great, and here's just a taste to whet your appetite!

"From Russian With Love" - Matt Munro

From "Murderer's Row" - Dino, Desi, and Billy

Friday, June 1, 2012

THE MYSTERIOUS MAGICIAN / Rialto Film Preben-Philipsen - 1964

Let's just put it this way... We dig Edgar Wallace the most, here at The Dungeon! These are a few things about him you might find interesting... He died at the age of 56 in 1932 in Hollywood during the production of KING KONG, he has had the greatest number of novels made into movies for a 20th century author, his son, Bryan, followed in his footsteps as a writer of thriller novels, in his heyday, his popularity as a writer was second only to Charles Dickens, his popularity exploded onto the screen and TV 30 years after his death, and, said this... An Academic is someone who has found something more interesting than sex!

Eegah!! has submitted a neat little soundclip for our auditory indulgence, showing how much fun you could have with a movie theme back in 1964! I love this craziness, soooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the slobbering green Trigor, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's the coolest theme around, enjoy... THE MYSTERIOUS MAGICIAN!

This flick has a submarine that transports dead bodies to a secret underground location!

The intricate story goes something like this.. The sister of a famous criminal named The Hexer is mysteriously murdered, that's her in the submarine. Inspector Higgins of Scotland Yard is called in, he thinks The Hexer will surface to take his revenge on the killers, and, he plans to set some traps to capture him. As the dead bodies start piling up, it looks like The Hexer will elude the police yet again! The masked Hexer is only exposed in the last suspenseful minutes of the film.

The great Joachim Fuchsberger plays the astute Inspector Higgins, here, being driven around town by his girlfriend in her convertible. Joachim is still working today!

The Inspector has been participating in some photographic extracurricular activities with his secretary! His girlfriend checks it out.

Heinz Drache plays Wesby, here, aparently looking for clues to the mystery. Heinz was also in HYPNOSIS, COFFIN FROM HONG KONG, PSYCHO-CIRCUS, THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU and THE MONSTER OF BLACKWOOD CASTLE.

The Inspector is hot on The Hexer's trail!

But, ends up in this half dressed girl's apartment!

Then later, gets to enjoy the company of his girlfriend after her hot steamy shower... What a life, poor guy!

I saw a few German art films when I was stationed there in 1969, they ALL had peep-hole voyeurism going on!

Here's a good shot of the secret submarine lair.

And, here's another good shot of a secret submarine lair.

So then, you'll just have to track down this little thriller to enjoy all the wild action for yourself!

The original German poster..

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??