Friday, August 18, 2017

DEATH MACHINES / Crown International Pictures - 1976

Here's a wild 'n' weird flick filmed in freakin' Stockton, CA... The story's about an evil Oriental Dragon Lady who has three martial arts fighters injected with a serum that turns them into zombie-like assassins, and then sends them out against her enemies!

It stars Ronald (OMEGA COP) Marchini as White Death Machine, Michael (SNAPDRAGON) Chong as Asian Death Machine, Joshua (THE WEAPONS OF DEATH) Johnson as Black Death Machine and Mari (only two acting credits) Honjo as Madame Lee.

Something weird's going on when one of the crime syndicates in Stockton is targeted. A Caterpillar tractor runs over one of the mobsters while calling the boss with some info!

Here's Madame Lee and her little bitch helper. She's behind the deaths of her crime enemies and has even more surprises in store for them.

She has a truck try and take out the dude sitting at the window table, but, when everyone notices the approaching headlights, well, they scramble like eggs!!

Madame Lee invites the head crime boss over for din din, and gives him a box to open... Inside is the head of one of his thugs, sending him a clear message!

In the meantime, Madame Lee has three martial arts greats kidnapped and injected with her obedience serum! The coppers have captured White Death Machine but he gets loose at the station and literally beats the crap out of like 20 officers before he escapes!

After he has escaped, White Death Machine goes to a local dive and is simply trying to eat a cheeseburger, when, some bikers start harassing him, you know, what the Hell else?! WDM starts kicking ass again when a guy hits him with a metal bar stool, taking him out!

But, guess who shows up?.. Yeah, Black and Asian Death Machines!!..

Hey look, 7-UP!!

Oh shit, now what?!!

Hey look, Coca Cola!!

Dude gets tossed out the door where he demolishes a well placed oil can pyramid!

Hey look, Pennzoil!!

Anyway, the gang's back in business. When a trade is made with another crime syndicate, our guys pull out a bazooka and blow their plane up before it even gets off the ground!

Things don't work out that great for Madame Lee and her bitch, bringing our tale to an end!

The best part is when our heroes are back to normal and are on their way out of Stockton, making for an even better ending!! We're back tomorrow with some Special Dungeon Cargo!

3 comments:

Greg Goodsell said...

I love this AWFUL thing!

TABONGA! said...

Yeah, I really started to dig White Death Machine!

Professor Brian O'Blivion said...

A truly great bad movie!

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